I am very thankful for the people in my life, my family, my friends and my colleagues.

The last couple of days have barely been able to keep my eyes open.
I am freaking out at the insurance companies refusing to pay for my pet scan and that's not something I can afford out-of-pocket or anybody that I know could.

 every new day starts a new fantasy about where my life really is and every morning I wake up wondering what am I going to tell myself today.
Nobody really knows how they would react in this situation and that includes me. I wonder myself that all the time. I'm kind of improvising it as I go along, reality and I are not friendly at the moment

Some days I think that I know I don't deserve all the kindness and love that's being shown to me but many people that owed me no loyalties or anything for that matter have been so kind, generous, supportive that I'm overwhelmed. I would say I got really lucky, but I guess that part washes out with being unlucky enough to have terminal cancer but I am incredibly thankful because I don't think I was ever that selfless, kind; I'm not saying I was a bad person, I don't think I was ever truth either, I'm just don't think I ever would have expected the love and generosity that's being shown to me.

So the good news is that there is no more visible signs of cancer, the bad news is that regardless of that there is less than a 1% chance that this won't kill me in the near future. On top of that my health insurance has doubled, I'm broke so it's not like I can spend the rest of my time traveling the world.
I think my son was really under the illusion that I was getting cured and he took it harder than me

I know I've been absent, the anemia has me down. Yesterday I found out that thanks to Trump, using the tax cut for the rich bill, eliminated the individual mandate and my health insurance doubled. I also found out that in other countries my cancer is treated sometimes by a liver transplant but not here, so I have to investigate a lot and decide what to do next

I should be saying smarter things